In an attempt to be authentic, and completely vulnerable, I will admit I’m dealing with some pretty painful circumstances. I could tell you my story, explain all the specifics, and share with you all the heartbreaking details, but I won’t. Today’s post really has nothing to do with where my pain comes from or why I feel the way I do. Today I want to share with you what I’ve learned to do in the midst of pain.
The reality is no one is immune to pain, especially around the holidays. Whether you’ve lost a loved one or you were recently laid off or you’re dealing with turmoil and family crisis or any number of other horrible events, WE.ALL.FEEL.PAIN.
FIRST THINGS FIRST, AN APOLOGY
For those of you already part of the His Palette Community, I am sorry. You may have noticed over the past month things have been pretty quiet on the blog and our social media accounts. For that I apologize.
I am truly sorry that my circumstances caused me to take such a large step back from this ministry. Though I continue to answer emails and privately communicate within the community, I did not regularly make myself available in the form of blog articles and social media posts. I pray you find it in your hearts to forgive me.
HIDING FOR THE SAKE OF HIDING
I’m sure all of us, at one time or another, have dealt with our pain by pulling away from others in our lives. We “hide” from friends and family, so we are not forced to talk about our pain or so we aren’t expected to behave like we aren’t hurting at all. But I know, with all of my heart, this will not ease my or anyone else’s hurt and I want to make it clear to you all, hiding from loved ones is not the answer.
FINDING A TRUE HIDING PLACE
During this time, if I’m being totally honest, I DID hide. But not in the way some might think. While dealing with my onslaught of emotions I read the following Bible verse:
You are my hiding place and my shield;
I wait for Your word.”
~ Psalm 119:114 NASB
I read the verse over and over and over again.
“You are my hiding place…”
“YOU are my hiding place…”
“YOU are MY hiding place…”
“I wait for Your word.”
And that is exactly what I’ve been doing for the last 30+ days. I’ve been pushing my face into the chest of God and allowing his big strong embrace to hide me…to comfort me. I’ve been reading and studying His Word, praying my most honest and vulnerable prayers throughout the day, singing all sorts of worship songs, and simply resting in His arms. This complete immersion into His Word, His praise, and my personal relationship with Him, is what saved me from my own devastating emotions.
God is my one and only true hiding place. He is my shield and my refuge. And once I discovered the truth in this verse and received His comfort, I waited. I waited to hear His word, telling me what to do next, what direction to go, what step to take, etc.
ONCE I HEARD HIS WORD
Just like I’d heard the Lord speaking to me about this ministry, well over a year ago, I continue to hear him encourage me and my desire to share Him and His Word through creativity. And after spending time cradled in his healing arms, clinging to him for survival, I heard these words, “No one loves you more than I. No one is prouder of your successes and understands your failures better than I. You were made for more than the emotional turmoil you are experiencing at this time. Rest, my child. You will not be defeated. Your Father has you.”
So here I am, folks! I found my hiding place, a soft place to land, and I waited for God to speak. There are no special recipes or complicated instructions for the hiding place. As Psalm 119:114 says, just wait for His word.
I pray this verse helps you through hard times, as it did me. I know what it is to deal with an overwhelming hurt during the holidays. Again, I apologize for not being completely present in our community. But know this. The Lord has pulled me through to the other side of my painful circumstances and I am ready to continue on this journey with you.
Be blessed and be a blessing!
Kimberly @ His Palette
Prologue: Please understand, I am not a Bible scholar or a trained teacher of the Word. I am just a hurting girl, trying to find peace and love, in a broken world. God bless you, my friends.